I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
