is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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