check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
