i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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