now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
