...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
is it fun? or sober?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
