Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
