They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
