I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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