is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
