yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
