She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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