I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
