WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
