Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
