i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
