Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
