If that was your dad, he is hot
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
