It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
