she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize