Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
