Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
