Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
