just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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