he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize