You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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