hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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