he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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