I'm really into asian looking animals
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
