Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
