how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I could fuck to npr.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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