Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
