Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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