just come out here and I will go home with you...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
