I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
