Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
