Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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