i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
