Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me

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(416): View more from Toronto

honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways

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