16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
