I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize