oh god the rape fog is back!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
