See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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