Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
