Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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