hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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