went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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