Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
