OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
MIDGETS
????
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
