Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
