bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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