I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
