I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
