my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
