Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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