we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
