idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
