So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
