We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
