Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
