then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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