we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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