i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
