Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
