I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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