I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
