You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
