dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
