lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
